My last drink was January 4th 1984. I used to say that I quit drinking that day, I tried to quit drinking many times before that. It was easy to quit but hard to stay quit. Why did I have the strength that day? After long reflection I've realized that it wasn't me. I was given a gift,the gift of sobriety.
I was spending all my money on alcohol, sick and tired of being sick and tired, feeling angry isolated and alone. I had experienced all the things that go along with an alcoholic life. The most honest prayer I could muster was "Lord I don't want to quit drinking but I know I have to". On that last day I had a glimpse of what kind of guy I really was, not the picture I had of myself but my real situation.
I realized I was nothing, that I had a ruthless concentration on self and my life was ruled by self pity, anxiety, resentment and hate. I was an asshole who didn't now how to live sober. This was my "bottom", it felt hopeless.
I knew about a group of people who's only aim was to stay sober and help another alcoholic achieve sobriety. They told me I didn't have to live that way any more and showed me a new way of life, something I didn't know anything about. I realized the only way to learn how to stay sober is by some one else who all ready had.
I was given hope and a new way of living to be applied one day at a time.
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